Hey Gym Guy…Seriously?

You know why most people hate gyms or at least going to a gym? It’s not because they hate to work out, the gyms themselves are too expensive (most gyms in my town are about $10-$15/ month),  have out of date equipment or pushy trainers. They hate the gym because they are full of annoying muscle heads (aka douchebags) who think they are god’s gift to weight lifting.

You know the ones I’m talking about…

The “My arms are so huge (but they really aren’t)  and I flex them in the mirror every chance I get”.

The “I put gel in my hair to work out so I look extra fine in the mirror that I look at 100 times every hour”.

The “My outfit matches perfectly from top to bottom, including my hat, socks, shoes, Ipod case and sadly wrist band” guy.

The “I’m gonna lift this not really heavy weight, make screaming noises while lifting with terrible form but act all IM THE STRONGEST GUY EVER” guy.

The “HAHAHAH look at that fat person working out..they are so stupid just go HOME” guy.

The “I bought this extra small shirt at the Baby Gap and it’s still not tight enough” guy.

The “I love my body so much and I want everyone to see it, so I’m gonna walk around the locker room butt naked so that you KNOW my muscles are bigger than yours” guy.

The “I’m gonna sweat SO MUCH and NEVER use a towel” guy.

The “I never re-rack my weights” guy.


What about the ladies? They aren’t void of douchebaggery. How about..

The “My shorts ride up so high and are so tight but don’t you dare look at my body you pervert” girl.


The “My outfit matches perfectly from top to bottom, including my hair tie, socks, shoes, Ipod case and sadly wrist band. ” OMG Brittany!! You look SOOO cute!

The “Of course I put on 5 lbs of make up to go the gym” girl.

The “I’m lifting this 5 lb weight and I think I’m actually working hard”.

The “This is a social club and I’m gonna take 45 minutes on this machine talking to my ‘girl’s’ so back off jerk” girl.

And that’s why most people hate the gym. Especially people who are working out for the first time. These “Hardcore OMG YOU’RE SO AWESOME hate to say it idiots” turn most people off to the idea of living the gym life. I avoid it by putting on my head phones and ignoring people. I also like to laugh at people so that helps.

So please “Gym Guy or Girl” stop it. Yes, we like to point and laugh at you when you’re not looking and we shake our heads at your stupidity but please stop. M’kay?



10 thoughts on “Hey Gym Guy…Seriously?

    • Thanks. Yes they do. I’d love to start a Non-douchebag or douchette gym. Problem is that Florida (especially Tallahassee) is full of them. I’d be broke with in a month.

    • Sounds like you are a recent fatty who likes making fun of those in better shape than you. As a powerlifter with low bodyfat that works conditioning every day, maybe you should start one called “judgemental new guy”. You can talk about their overactive thyroid and food cravings that make it impossible to lose weight! Oh, and don’t forget to mention all the “reasons” you mention in your articles about not going to the gym! Haha.

      • Uh oh guys I think we’ve hit the nerve of the muscle heads. Try this Andy. Go get a sense of humor and learn to laugh at yourself and also the ridiculous people that typically make up gym members.

        Oh and btw bro I have talked extensively about over active Thyroids and food cravings but thanks for the suggestion. But go ahead and continue to call people fat..cause that always helps to motivate people. GOOD JOB GYM BRO!

  1. haha, man that is pretty dam true, especially for those of us who dont belong to a box and go the globo gym route. hey man, you can sit at home and watch comedy central for a good laugh, or go to the gym and play the game, spot the biggest douche, you’ll have a good laugh, trust me, lol.

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